Are we too selfish…

when it comes to loved ones and death? I get the whole, “we don’t want mom/dad etc to die” I recently lost my father in law to cancer, among some other things.

As a cancer survivor, I feel I have a right to speak to this. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 2002. Fortunately it was not very serious, at least as far as cancer goes. After fighting with my insurance company twice(once to get the dr approved and once to get the surgery approved) I was “cured” After 18 sessions of radiation therpay. They were awful and I can’t possibly describe what it feels like. They lay you mostly naked on a table, in a huge room, line you up and tell you to lay still. Then they leave you alone in this cavernous place, your only companions the thrumming of the machine and your heart beating in your ears. After a series of clicks and other ominous noises you get zapped with low levels of radiation. One of the many wonderful things about that is it kills the bad cells. Of course the downside to that is the indiscriminate way in which it does it’s insidious job. There is collateral damge, good cells get zapped along with the bad. I can’t prove it, but I think my stomach is still screwed up from it. As I understand it, chemo works in the same indiscriminate manner. But, as Ive never experienced it, I don’t know first hand and cannot speak to it. What I am sure of, from what I’ve seen anyway, is it is a nasty horrible experience.

Is it worth it, to live? I don’t know. After my first 3 sessions and subsequent vomiting, I wasn’t sure it was. I realize I got off relatively easy. As for the people that go through months of having posions injected into them. You did know chemo meds were posionous, didn’t you? They kill off all manner of things inside you some good and some bad. You ache, get sick and generally prefer death over this. So, when I see people, that have never had this shit, talk about how, it’s unfortunate to have people pass before there time, it pisses me off royally.

Hey jackass, live through it, then talk about how the person should endure this hell for you, so you can feel better about yourself. Aren’t you being, I don’t know, the teeniest bit selfish? I get that you love them and want them around. But at what cost to them? This article opens up a potential Pandora’s box of legal and ethical problems read this .

Of course every treatment is different for every patient. But before you tell a loved one “Please don’t die, stick around for us”, try and imagine the living hell they are in first.


Who to follow

A few weeks ago I did a different version of FollowFriday. Here’s a new edition of this.

for logical you can’t go wrong with @she_writes

my #1 chica always. When you need a friendly ear or shoulder, or a laugh @ShibariReiss

For all your online poker needs or just someone that never fears telling you what he’s thinking @street3 or for poker or website building check out @pokerplasm

For all your jazz needs you can’t go wrong with@elementsofJazz aka Miss Donna

Into dance? then checkout my Jersey girl @lesleac

For wicked funny people may I suggest @morticia626 @bhaddad or @scarletmandy

Thanks for stopping by. This list is by no means all inclusive. I follow a lot of great people and I can’t possibly list them all here. Just look at my follow list for more people.


End of an era

We live next door to a church. It’s the best neighbor situation I can think of. Just a big parking lot and the church. It’s just the pastor and his wife. Neal is a great guy. He’s a former Navy Commander and Navy Chaplain. But, his being a great guy goes beyond pastoral duties or obligations. It’s just who he is. Unfortunately he is retiring in 2 weeks. 13 years is a long time to be steward of a dying church. There haven’t been any new members to speak of in 2 years. At 45 and 41 my wife and I are among  the youngest adults. All the rest are in the 70 or 80’s now. So, as the members leave(die off) there are no new ones to take their place.

The new pastor starts on the first of June officially. I don’t know anything about him except his name. I hope for his sale and theirs he can do something to turn the church around. Based on what I know of the current congregation, most things are going to be an uphill battle for him. I hope for the best for him. My wife and I stayed ion the church primarily for the pastor and his wife Ginny. We met them as neighbors first, and then as the “Pastor” of St John’s second.  I will miss them both terribly when they move.

Walking, a new family tradition

I’ve been walking to get my kids to and from school for about a month now. Depending on who’s turn it is I may walk them in the mornings or wife takes them. But, I pick them up everyday and walk home with them. I’m averaging like half a mile a day with them. Not super far, by any means but it’s still better than sitting on my butt in the car.

This week we started walking after dinner. Each night has been a little farther. Tuesday was just a few blocks, wed was to the local giant, roughly a mile round trip and tonight was a little over a mile. I hope this becomes a lasting thing with us. It’s good for us, gives us time together, and it’s time not sitting watching tv or surfing the ‘net.

Also this week, my wife and I started having coffee together. Nothing fancy, just the two of us sitting in the backyard for an hour after the kids get home from school. It’s nice to recharge in the sunshine and gives her a much needed break from her work routine. This also, is a tradition I hope we continue with.

Twitter Don’ts or why I wont follow back.

Are you a marketer, on twitter for the sole purpose of selling a new widget or health potion? Or, someone that collects followers not unlike trophies?  Perhaps you got suckered, err bought some twitter traffic generating scheme program?

You shouldn’t send out Dm’s talking about gaining 10k followers and have 300. Also, if you are following 5000 and have 1/2 that in followers and under 100 posts? Guess wht, Im not interested in that either. Nor do I care to read updates that are nothing more than regurgitated tweets from others, or tweets that are all about Urls to reports, adult sites or marketing bullshit.  WTF would I care about that?

I am rather random sometimes I’ll follow person a but not b. Try to engage people. If Im not doing that, I won’t gain any new people and honsetly I’m ok with that. I know we all started as neophytes here and that’s fine. We all start somewhere. if I don’t follow back now I may later on after you’ve actually typed something. We don’t all have to share the same interests, that would be boring as hell wouldn’t it? Nor do I have to agree with your every point of view., I like to be challemged, forced out of my cave and made to face th world in all it’s unfiltered ugliness. You may not change my mind, but you might get me to examine why I feel a certain way.

So, if you want followers, engage people in discussions, share your passions. They will come. It took me months to get past the 100 follower mark. If I wanted everyone, Id have over 100o now. But Im good where I am. No I can’t possibly talk to 527 people. But I still like reading what they post, or there would be no point in following, right?

Also if you follow me, talk to me once in awhile, let me now you’re there. Twitter is sometimes slow in telling me I have new followers.

So, after reading this, if you still want to follow me, by all means please do. Just make sure you’re not spammy or scamming.

Thanks for reading.


Follow Friday Redux

Or How Im not trying to #followfriday all 500+ people on my list anymore.

There are so many good people there it would be too time consuming to list them all, and frankly piss a lot of people off. I admit when I first started doing it, I really loved it. Now, as many others have pointed out, it’s become a spammy beast, and not the tasty fried, salty pork treat either.

Too many just RT what others do for FF. I guess that’s ok, hell even I did it a few times. Then I realized how damn annoying it is. There was 1 following me that spent 18 hours tweeting and retweeting FF recommendations. What is the point of that?

So, in honor of @sethsimonds I will do my own version of this. I hope he forgives the blatant copying :-)Here’s a link to his post, go read it, I’ll wait Seths post

With that said, this is in no way a slight to anyone I haven’t listed here.Also, in light of all the crazy postings of FF and retweets, I feel this is a much better option for me.


@rightgirl She is smart and opinionated and worth a mention as a favorite blogger.One of her blogs can be found here

@pinkelephantpun Great political blogger and host of the new “Raising Hale” on

Personality:  So many to choose from this weeks choice is

@verwon funny, witty and gives great tweets

Inspiration: Hands down goes to

@aranarose she tirelessly strives to help anyone and everyone with her connecting to give blog and lemonademama site. Yet somehow she still finds time to exercise too.

I know there are many more people and many more categories and I will touch on those in the coming weeks. Thanks for stopping by. There is a reason I follow those I do. Feel free to check out my follows@igster101